我終於也有自己的博益版《太陽膏的夢》了。

袁某外遊前留下一條線索，說佐敦一家小書舖有絕版《揚眉女子》。雖然患感冒，走路時跌跌撞撞，下班後還是堅持去尋找。小書舖前放滿風水玄學書籍，閣樓才別有洞天。明窗版鍾玲玲，環球出版社的女作家系列，也有。驚喜的是八十年代極受歡迎的友禾、創建文庫、博益袋裝書。

絕版黃碧雲沒找到，可能是被人買了，也可能無緣遇上，卻給我看見陳冠中的《太陽膏的夢》，這是我很喜歡看的書。以前當記者，assignment 與 assignment 之間有點空檔，百無了賴我都往圖書館去，久不久就重讀這篇小說，每次看啊都笑出聲音，大概無法在其他地方找到類似的幽默了。牛津推出《香港三部曲》，也收此小說，深信吸引了許多從沒讀過它的人。前陣子上司跟我談起「城市筆記」系列，說當時銷量最高的，是鄧小宇用錢瑪莉作筆名寫的《穿Kenzo的女人》，寫得很 bitchy（嗯，相信我上司提供的資料吧，他是舊博益的 expert）。


這書，其實很多朋友都有了。而我終於也有自己的博益版《太陽膏的夢》了，感覺像一樁幸運的事。

我已經好久沒看過這麼愛笑的人。

倪匡先生來座談。他人一踏進講堂，主持尚未開咪，大家已先拍掌。
不是恭維也不是客套，感覺像，歡迎一位老朋友來。

他說從沒來過這店，於是帶他逛了一圈。
隨意撿起一些書，無論喜歡不喜歡，他都笑著點評幾句。
我已經好久沒有看過這麼快樂的人了。真讓人羡慕。

最教我驚訝的是，
他突然轉身問我：
這書店的資料，都可以上網查到的吧。

呀對。他近年喜歡了上網。

Orhan Pamuk。

Do you know what, darling? When you're this sad, I'm sad too. I feel as if there is instinct buried somewhere deep inside me -- in my body, my soul -- well, somewhere: When I see you sad, I get sad. It's as if some computer inside me says, WHEN YOU SEE THAT RUYA IS SAD YOU GET SAD TOO.

I can get sad for no reason, too, and just as suddenly. I can be in the middle of an ordinary day, tending to the refrigerator or the paper or my mind or my hair. My mind goes off on a tangent: this life ... but let's stop for a moment. I look at Ruya, and her face is dark and clouded; she's curled up on the divan, just lying there -- what's made her so unhappy? -- watching the world from the corner of her eye and her father watching her watch the world.

--- "When Ruya is Sad"

（Ruya 的 u ，應像變音字符一樣，上面有兩點，但這樣會使文章亂碼，我唯有打 u 字。）


我非常相信馬先生和帕慕克是可以做朋友的。雖然語言不同，但這書的文字，感覺竟有點相近。

新書 Other Colours: Essays and a Story 。帕慕克曾為某雜誌供稿，每周一篇短文，後來結集成書，最近譯成英文（Faber and Faber, 2007)，讀起來跟我們的專欄相似。作者在序言說: "This is a book made of ideas, images, and fragments of life that have still not found their way into one of my novels." 書的第一部分叫 "Living and Worrying"，就記了一些關於女兒的瑣事，上課，在家的小玩意，去海邊之類（帕慕克寫："When I go to the seaside with my four-year-old daughter, Ruya, I become the happiest man in the world." 我很喜歡這篇叫 "To be Happy" 的短文），只用簡潔的文字就能把生命的細微末節描繪得十分溫柔和立體。

The Hours。

Leonard Woolf - It was done for you! It was done for your betterment. It was done out of love! If I didn't know you better, I'd call this ingratitude.

Virginia Woolf - I am ungrateful? You call me ungrateful? My life has been stolen from me. Living in a town I have no wish to live in. I'm living a life I have no wish to live. How did this happen? It is time for us to move back to London. I miss London. I miss London life.

Leonard Woolf - This is not you speaking Virginia. This is an aspect of your illness.

Virginia Woolf - It is my voice. It is mine and mine alone. It is not. It is MINE. I'm dying in this town.

Leonard Woolf - If you were thinking clearly Virginia you will recall it was London that brought you low.

Virginia Woolf - If I were thinking clearly...

Leonard Woolf - I would report you to Richmond, to give you peace.

Virginia Woolf - If I were thinking clearly Leonard, then I would tell you that I wrestle alone in the dark, in the deep dark and only I can know, only I can understand my own condition. You live with the threat, you tell me you live with the threat of my extinction, Leonard I live with it too. This is my right, 'tis the right of every human being. I choose not the suffocating anesthetic of the suburbs but the violent jolt of the capital, that is my choice. The meanest patient, yes even the very lowest is allowed some say in the matter of her own prescription. There by she defines her humanity. I wish for your sake Leonard I could be happier in this quietness, but if it is a choice between Richmond and death, I choose death.

《三生影像》

潘國靈最近去了愛荷華大學「國際寫作計劃」，駱以軍也是。

有本新書叫《三生影像》（明報出版社／香港）。此書作者，便是愛荷華大學「國際寫作計劃」的創辦人之一聶華苓。